1. |
sacred geometry
02:13
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staring out your window waiting for a change
a car to pull into your driveway
a means to escape
afraid of what's on the other side of the door that you can't seem to face
an image in the doorway, faded, but you recognize my shape
and i'm still standing here
it's not fair, i wanted happiness
but i'll settle for whatever feels the closest
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2. |
the glare
01:47
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waking up three minutes before i need to get up
out through the door
step on the pavement and walk
remind myself what i'm still here for before i forget and give up
on the drive home you said i couldn't get out of your head
...or so you said...
i'm not entirely sure what to believe anymore
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3. |
spit
01:52
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you're the saliva building up in my mouth
i spit it out and you're helpless, lying on the floor, but i walk away and go on with my day
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4. |
as she walked away
00:26
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i wish i wasn't the one who calls you then hangs up right when you answer the phone
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5. |
blue moonlight
03:00
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heavy thoughts on hillside
feeling the world slow down in my head
am i down or just a piece of trash?
who's to blame but myself?
staying between the yellow lines is only hard at night
[poem by matt amandola]
there are holes in my hands
i like to pretend they're not there
i like to put them in the back of my mind or simply imagine they don't exist
but that's hard to do when everything i try to hold onto slips right through them
and i can feel them ache
a dull pain that never fades
it never leaves my mind and slowly drives me insane
and sometimes it makes me think that this might be a mistake
and that maybe i shouldn't ignore these little gaping holes in my hands
but i'll keep on pretending anyway
and once again everything good just slips away
when something beautiful and elegant gently floats into my palms and embraces my grasp and greets me with a smile
and i smile at it back with some childlike naïveté
believing that this good thing will stay
that it won't reach these fissures
these holes that taunt me everyday
and for a moment i am weightless
and for a moment i can breathe
and for a moment i can say i am finally happy
i've got something i can hold onto
i've got something that i can finally call my own
i've got something i can finally care about
something that depends on me and i equally depend on it
trusting that i won't ever drop it
and that i'll keep it cozy in my palms forever
until eventually it slips away
and it passes through my riddled broken hands
and reality hits
and it's gone for good
because i can't control it from slipping through
everything i've ever cared about and ever will care about will slip through my fingers
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6. |
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i'm praying for the worst for my friends so that i can feel better
if i'm doing better than they are, then maybe i can feel better
because the night is the best and the worst part of my day
the morning is just a haze
i'm never even somewhat awake
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7. |
purple flowers
01:45
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a disguise
head hanging low under the night sky
a misguided mind sitting on top of a shallow spine
think of why you'd even want to spend your night on some boring conversation
i don't mind, i'd just rather not waste my time
it's almost like no one's even interesting anymore
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8. |
reading between lines
01:48
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i'd rather paint these walls white than to spend another night out with you
i might just go insane if i don't find my way
get back to where i've never been before
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9. |
cold hands
01:42
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i'm waiting by my window for you...i don't want to
laying in bed alone with no one on my mind
winter night
a simile you wrote three years ago
still stuck in my head, i'll know it forever
walking slow through the snow
a terrible thought of not making it home
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10. |
woodcliff lake
03:02
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coming undone at the seams
spilling onto the concrete
asleep at the wheel
i'm sleeping while i'm standing here
safe in your bed
imagine not feeling safe in your own head
i think i was born to waste my life and wait to die
i was never destined to be alive so i'll take another night to pretend that i'm alright
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11. |
the wisp
02:18
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i'm sick of everything
pretty much sick of everyone i meet
i'm gonna find a place to sleep and just forget about the memories
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12. |
rogue encampment
02:11
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i fell down today after a night outside
and i wanted to sit next to you but that's not okay with you
if i only was to talk to you, would i have to chance to?
if i wanted you to stay, i know i wouldn't say it
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Bag of Bones Williston Park, New York
former long island musical project
we still have leftover merch so email me if you want shirts or tapes: jmolfetas@gmail.com
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